Feeling my anxiety pretty hard right now, so…I started looking through my old stuff because I do that, like I can’t decide if I’m looking for reasons to hate myself and be ashamed of my past art or reasons to be proud or something.
Anyway, here’s an ink and paint scribble I did a little over a year ago while in the depths of a really bad episode of hysteria and depression. I wanted to try and depict that nasty feeling of having something dark, writhing, and heavy living inside of you, of how you just want it to spill all out like your own guts or something, but it didn’t really work out because I don’t really have any experience in drawing this kind of stuff. Not good experience anyway. Aside from this I stopped ‘drawing my feelings’ a long time ago, back when I stopped keeping a journal. Mostly I just drew violent things happening to me. High school’s fun, huh?
It’s been suggested to me that I blog some more about this kind of thing and how it ties into my outlook of the world, but…I don’t know. Just seems to be the kind of thing that people would use as a weapon against me. Again.
Also more and more lately I have this nagging feeling like I should pack up all my internet things and leave since I’m so sporadic with keeping in touch with people anyway.
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